A QUESTION AND ANSWER SESSION TO SHARE
One of my young friends recently asked me this question. This is a common question for many of the youngsters who get married in India, especially if it is an arranged marriage, the people around them, the elders and their relatives expect them to have children as soon as possible, this is because of the traditional beliefs of legalized procreation and preservation of family wealth.
But modern life with all its "busyness" where both husband and wife have to earn for a living is creating so much of stress for the young married couples and along with the stress of tradition and culture many are asking this question. The answer may also bless those who are not bound by culture and tradition but are trying to have children. In all cultures children are considered the fruit of the Spirit and when a woman is not able to conceive she criticizes herself more than the society around her.
But modern life with all its "busyness" where both husband and wife have to earn for a living is creating so much of stress for the young married couples and along with the stress of tradition and culture many are asking this question. The answer may also bless those who are not bound by culture and tradition but are trying to have children. In all cultures children are considered the fruit of the Spirit and when a woman is not able to conceive she criticizes herself more than the society around her.
Q: I am going through extreme stress and frustration because it has been more than a year (2 years/3 years/5 years) since I got married and we still have no children. Every time we make love our thoughts are only on trying to have a child and love making has become so very stressful. Please help me with a solution to this problem.
A: Thank you for sharing your heart with me. I am sorry that you feel stressed by this.
It is a common misconception that all our life we have to prove, and please others and live our lives for others. But in reality if we are not there then there is no world, only through your body mind and soul you connect with the thing outside called the world. You out of your love asked the creator for a body and came into this planet to interact with the planet through this body. Every interaction you have with the Planet will be excellent and efficient if it comes from the love for yourself. But this world on the outside taught us to prove and please others rather than ourselves. So in order to get the approval of people on the outside we stress ourselves and lose our joy.
We are indeed created in the image and likeness of the Creator, so every aspect of the mighty creator is in us. We can create anything we want but.. BUT, if we do not live from our joy we cannot create. Creation needs JOY! Every teaching of this world outside, from our families, the education system, to our societies and culture have taught us again and again, that "we are not good enough" and that "we do not deserve" this has made our lives so stressful, for we lost our knowledge of the Creator’s essence in us and also lost our joy in the process of satisfying others. Know that you deserve to live a wonderful life. Your body is the temple and the Divine lives in you. Your first and foremost duty is to love yourself immensely and respect yourself. It is not necessary to give in to the whims and fancies of the world outside, whoever it may be, it is not worth it. Learn to love yourself, I would say re-learn, because as a baby you did love yourself, but as you started to grow up you forgot that because of trying to please everyone outside.
A child is definitely the fruit of the Spirit of the Divine, and when there is joy there is the work of the Divine in us.I would suggest that you let go stress by getting back to your childish nature, go connect with nature, take a walk in a park , sit under a tree, go fly a kite, blow bubbles, see a comedy video, take a chocolate break, do things which would bring back laughter and joy into your life. And make love with your dear husband not because you have to get a baby but because you deserve love, he deserves love and because you admire, respect, and love each other. Start appreciating each other with kind words and small gifts of love every day for each other, in any creative way you can. Start loving and playing with each other for fun, do things for fun, go run on the beach, or fly a kite, or play games for fun, bring lot of fun into your life. Drop others’ opinions whatever it might be , now only do things for yourself. And one fine day you will notice that the Spirit of the Divine has co-created a new life with you both.
To enhance the process of re-learning to love yourself, please do this affirmation/mantra everyday as many times as possible. You can memorize it and say it when you are doing your work, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, or going shopping, anywhere, anytime. You can also make a happy journal for yourself and write this affirmation down as a love letter to yourself as many times as you can. Also you can print it out and post it on your fridge, on your computer table, or on your bath room mirror as reminders for you. I would also suggest that first thing in the morning look at yourself in the mirror, and look into the eyes of the image looking back at you, it is the God/Goddess.... look into the eyes and say this affirmation/mantra (from Louise Hay)
" I love myself
I am wonderful
Today is one of the best days of my life
Everything is working out for my highest good
Whatever I need to know is revealed to me
Whatever I need comes to me
All is well!"
At first this affirmation may sound silly to you because you have not loved yourself for so long, you loved others but you criticized yourself. So now you are learning to love yourself immensely, so be patient with yourself and continue to do the affirmations as many times as possible with full feeling from your heart, making it your truth.
Forget the past, be in this NOW moment only, in this now moment you love yourself, as the most wonderful Divine being, who has unlimited capacity to create happiness in any way you want it.
It is a common misconception that all our life we have to prove, and please others and live our lives for others. But in reality if we are not there then there is no world, only through your body mind and soul you connect with the thing outside called the world. You out of your love asked the creator for a body and came into this planet to interact with the planet through this body. Every interaction you have with the Planet will be excellent and efficient if it comes from the love for yourself. But this world on the outside taught us to prove and please others rather than ourselves. So in order to get the approval of people on the outside we stress ourselves and lose our joy.
We are indeed created in the image and likeness of the Creator, so every aspect of the mighty creator is in us. We can create anything we want but.. BUT, if we do not live from our joy we cannot create. Creation needs JOY! Every teaching of this world outside, from our families, the education system, to our societies and culture have taught us again and again, that "we are not good enough" and that "we do not deserve" this has made our lives so stressful, for we lost our knowledge of the Creator’s essence in us and also lost our joy in the process of satisfying others. Know that you deserve to live a wonderful life. Your body is the temple and the Divine lives in you. Your first and foremost duty is to love yourself immensely and respect yourself. It is not necessary to give in to the whims and fancies of the world outside, whoever it may be, it is not worth it. Learn to love yourself, I would say re-learn, because as a baby you did love yourself, but as you started to grow up you forgot that because of trying to please everyone outside.
A child is definitely the fruit of the Spirit of the Divine, and when there is joy there is the work of the Divine in us.I would suggest that you let go stress by getting back to your childish nature, go connect with nature, take a walk in a park , sit under a tree, go fly a kite, blow bubbles, see a comedy video, take a chocolate break, do things which would bring back laughter and joy into your life. And make love with your dear husband not because you have to get a baby but because you deserve love, he deserves love and because you admire, respect, and love each other. Start appreciating each other with kind words and small gifts of love every day for each other, in any creative way you can. Start loving and playing with each other for fun, do things for fun, go run on the beach, or fly a kite, or play games for fun, bring lot of fun into your life. Drop others’ opinions whatever it might be , now only do things for yourself. And one fine day you will notice that the Spirit of the Divine has co-created a new life with you both.
To enhance the process of re-learning to love yourself, please do this affirmation/mantra everyday as many times as possible. You can memorize it and say it when you are doing your work, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, or going shopping, anywhere, anytime. You can also make a happy journal for yourself and write this affirmation down as a love letter to yourself as many times as you can. Also you can print it out and post it on your fridge, on your computer table, or on your bath room mirror as reminders for you. I would also suggest that first thing in the morning look at yourself in the mirror, and look into the eyes of the image looking back at you, it is the God/Goddess.... look into the eyes and say this affirmation/mantra (from Louise Hay)
" I love myself
I am wonderful
Today is one of the best days of my life
Everything is working out for my highest good
Whatever I need to know is revealed to me
Whatever I need comes to me
All is well!"
At first this affirmation may sound silly to you because you have not loved yourself for so long, you loved others but you criticized yourself. So now you are learning to love yourself immensely, so be patient with yourself and continue to do the affirmations as many times as possible with full feeling from your heart, making it your truth.
Forget the past, be in this NOW moment only, in this now moment you love yourself, as the most wonderful Divine being, who has unlimited capacity to create happiness in any way you want it.
Choose to become a joyful co-creator with the Divine.
Blessings!
Premlatha Rajkumar
Blessings!
Premlatha Rajkumar
No comments:
Post a Comment