Wednesday, April 3, 2013

BEING CONSCIOUS OF NEEDINESS

BEING CONSCIOUS OF NEEDINESS

“The real fight is in, not there on the outside, and the real fight is not
with others. The real fight is with your own unconsciousness, with your
own unawareness.” ~ Osho

Most of us are unconsciously addicted to neediness. This unconsciousness makes us constantly in need of others' love, approval, reward, recognition, acknowledgement, and attention. In order to get this, we go out of our way to please others and do all that which is not true for us.

We forget how to be ourselves. In our neediness, we strive to do the things that the other person likes; we forget what we like.

We put up with things that our body and mind does not approve of just to satisfy the need of getting the attention of the other person. We easily accept any kind of abuse or humiliation just because of our neediness of the other person's love, or approval.

This unconscious behavior makes every human relationship painful. Then worry, doubt, stress, and anxiety become the norm of everyday life.

We come into this world alone, and we go back alone. We are Divine beings, and our Divinity within is abundant enough to satisfy all of our needs. The problem began when we lost focus on our Divinity within and started focusing on the outside for our needs. Attachment to something outside the self is an illusion. Even if people love each other very much and tend to cling to each other while awake, at some point sleep walks in and takes each one far away to mysterious lands.

When we grow up, our senses start working, and we see that we are alone. As we never trained our senses to go within, we often end up attaching ourselves to people, power, and material things on the outside.

Every indulgence of clinging or neediness on the outside, is a sure sign of forgetting to connect with the Divinity within. Neediness comes out of the fear of being alone.

When we choose to focus, connect, and grow in the Divinity within us, we are doing a great service for ourselves. By focusing on the Divinity within, we become mature, alert, awake, satisfied, loving, and compassionate. We become the wellspring of understanding and wisdom. Our actions and relationships are authentic when they come from the place of the Divinity within. All actions and relationships that arise from the mind and its logic, will be out of neediness. Every action that is not from the place of Divinity within, will automatically seek for approval or reward. It will come from the place of expectation, and expectations lead to disappointments.

When we understand and accept our whole selves from the heart, we radiate with the light of wisdom from within. We can then go beyond need, and we can share our light with others. Otherwise, when we have no light in us, we will become addicted to things on the outside to satisfy. However, the things on the outside can never satisfy us. We will continue to seek and in our seeking, we will not be able to live in our truth. When we do not live in our truth, we lose our joy.

We can help others only when we have helped ourselves first. This brings to me the flight safety instructions on an airplane, which simply say, to first put the oxygen mask on you before helping anyone else, even if it is a child.

Let us choose to identify, to notice our neediness with an open mind, let us catch ourselves in the act of self-sabotage, and change our programming to self-growth and well being.

Excerpts from 'Twelve Steps to Inner Peace'
Copyright © 2012 P Rajkumar and S L Christian
All rights reserved.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BSY853G
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